That Wedding Read online

  And that thing is wedding planning.

  Seriously?? We've been engaged for, what? Twenty-two hours?! And she's ready to start planning?

  I mean, I'm still in shock that I'm even dating Phillip, let alone engaged to the boy.

  Isn't there some kind of engagement buffer? Where you get a few days (weeks, months) to get used to the idea before people start bombarding you with questions about an event you're totally not mentally prepared to deal with????!!!!

  The answer to that question is apparently not because she's already prepared a wedding spreadsheet of some kind. Not surprising, really, she probably has to make a spreadsheet before she can do laundry, so she does it in the proper order. To say this woman is organized is a supreme understatement.

  She hands it to me, and I scan it.

  Looks pretty typical. Once we figure out when we want to get married, then we'll be happy to use her list and start planning.

  But I'm not in any hurry to get married.

  We need to date for a while first.

  Ashley, Phillip's sister, says, "So, JJ, I would recommend you start by picking a theme and your colors."

  "A theme?" What is this, a frat party? "What kind of wedding theme?"

  "Oh, wow," she says, "there are so many things you could do. You could have it black tie, casual, country, or beachy. Fairytale weddings are big right now. You could do like a fall wedding or even a Halloween wedding!"

  "A Halloween wedding?! Like a black and orange wedding? How fun would that be? We could have people dress up and hand out candy!" I laugh. Ha! "Phillip, did you hear that? We could get married on Halloween! We could just have people ring the doorbell, stand outside, and we can get married in the entryway. We could be all dressed up and then go out and get candy for our reception! Our favors could be dozens of eggs, forks, Fruity Pebbles, and toilet paper!"

  "PHILLIP DAVID Mackenzie!" Mrs. Mac yells. She squints her eyes and gives him the mom glare. "You told me you had nothing to do with the Robertson's house that Halloween."

  "What Halloween?" he pretends.

  "The year their whole sidewalk was covered in Fruity Pebbles. Then it rained, and the color stained their sidewalk. We thought it was never going to come off! You swore to me that you had nothing to do with it!"

  Phillip scrunches up his nose and laughs. "What are you gonna do, Mom? Ground me? Besides, I was in charge of the forks, not the Fruity Pebbles." He gives me a pointed grin, so his mom will think it was my idea.

  "Jadyn!" Mrs. Mac scolds.

  "Uh, so maybe a Halloween themed wedding is a bad idea," I say, quickly switching the conversation back to something that won't get us in trouble. Besides, the Fruity Pebbles were all Danny's idea, but we won't mention that. Knowing Mrs. Mac, she'd be calling his mom.

  Ashley continues. "Well, you could do winter wonderland or like a down home country style wedding. Some people even have Husker themed weddings. You both love football, maybe you should do something like that."

  "I do love football, but I don't think I'd want that for my wedding."

  "So what do you want?" Phillip's mom asks.

  "I have no idea. I got surprise engaged on my first date, less than twenty-four hours ago. I really haven't gotten that far yet." They both stare at me like I'm nuts, so I'm like, "Phillip, what kind of wedding do you want?"

  "Um..," he eloquently says, "I don't know. The kind that involves us getting married?"

  Mrs. Mac and Ashley both roll their eyes at him in that, He's just a man, what could he possibly know, way.

  "JJ, have you seriously never pictured your wedding? Every little girl dreams of her wedding day," Ashley admonishes.

  Gee, I'm apparently a failure as a girl.

  All I ever dreamed about was marrying a prince, but that was really as far as I got. To me, it was all about finding the right boy. I guess I sorta thought once you found the guy, the wedding just sort of fell into place.

  I mean think of Cinderella. The whole story was about her and Prince Charming's courtship. It's only at the very end that the wedding bells ring, birds fly, and they kiss. No one asked Cinderella what kind of themed wedding she wanted. The wedding just happened.

  Didn't it?

  I know most of my sorority sisters have planned out their ideal weddings. I listened, thought they sounded amazing, and encouraged them. But my wedding seemed so far off, I never really thought about what I'd want. Plus, you have to remember my two best friends are Phillip and Danny.

  Boys.

  I can tell you with all certainty that they never once stood around the pool table planning their dream weddings. The only real discussions we ever had involving weddings was Danny praying some girl wasn't pregnant, so he wouldn't have to marry her.

  "Uh," I say, "honestly, not really. We used to have weddings for Barbie and Ken, but those mostly involved a wedding in front of Phillip's LEGO castle. They'd drive off in her Barbie jeep and then have a Barbie baby. And sometimes, they went on a honeymoon to the blow up Barbie pool, where they would kiss, swim, and get their hair wet. Oh!" I giggle. "And sometimes, instead of Ken, she married G.I. Joe."

  "Bigamy Barbie," Phillip quips as he sets a beer down in front of me.

  "That's true, but you loved when she married Joe. You'd make him jump out of a plane or rappel down the wall, and then they'd get married. Joe always made a big entrance. It was all very exciting. Ken was really sort of boring, but he was there for her when Joe went off to, I don't know, fight in wars and shit."

  Phillip laughs.

  I can't help but laugh too. We had so much fun when we were kids. "She also married Robin Hood. So she was more like trigamy Barbie," I tell Phillip.

  "Trigamy?" Ash questions.

  "Uh, maybe trigonometry?" I stupidly say.

  "Oh my gosh." Phillip chuckles. "Are you both blonde or what?"

  Smart ass. "Well then, what would it be called?"

  "Polygamy."

  "No, that's when you have many spouses. What's it called when you have just three, like Barbie did? It would have to be trigamy. Really, that's kind of a good idea. Like she married Ken because he was pretty and would provide a good gene pool for kids. Then there's G.I. Joe. He'd like show up whenever. You'd just have wild sex with him, and then he'd be off again on some mission. And Robin Hood would take you on adventures. I think Barbie was on to something. She really did have the perfect life."

  "Except when she got pregnant and didn't know if it was Ken or Joe's baby," Ash says sarcastically.

  Like Barbie would've had a big dilemma on that one. "You know she would've just told Ken it was his baby. He wouldn't have known the difference. Ken looked good, but I don't think he was all that smart. But he was a good dad and would stay home and take care of the kids while she was off with Joe or Robin." That's not a bad idea. "Hey Phillip, can I have three husbands too?"

  "Hmmm, I don't think so." He grins and shakes his head no.

  Ashley rolls her eyes. "So are you saying you want a Barbie themed wedding?"

  Uh, no. I may not know much, but I do know a hot pink Barbie wedding is not for me.

  It seems the theme of tonight's dinner is for us to pick a theme. I swear, if they don't lay off, pretty soon my theme is gonna be, I don't give a shit.

  Thank God, the oven buzzer goes off, meaning we finally get to eat. And here's what I want to know. Why aren't they asking Phillip these questions? He's the one that was so bound and determined to get engaged. I just want to have fun sleeping with him for a while.

  Mrs. Mac falls back a little during dinner, but she apparently didn't make a full retreat. After dinner, she sits us down in front of apple pie and questions us.

  I told you before, she feeds you and gets you to spill your guts. That woman is sneaky.

  Phillip's as clueless as I am on the whole theme thing, so he tells his mom, "I have no freaking idea." Then he ditches me and takes his pie into the family room to watch football with his dad and Ash's husband, Cooper.

  But Mrs. Ma
c will not be deterred. She gets up and grabs a large stack of the thickest magazines known to man.

  Bridal magazines.

  They practically break through the wooden table when she slams the stack down in front of me. Thankfully, I got my hands out of the way.

  "I went through and marked everything I like in yellow," she tells me.

  "And I marked everything I like in blue," Ashley adds.

  When do these people find time to go through these monstrosities? If I tried to sit on the couch at home and flip through these, I'd make it all of about twelve pages before Phillip would be attacking me. Sex takes up a lot of our time lately.

  Mrs. Mac continues in her sweet, If you do this for me, I will bake you cookies, voice. "So just flip through all the magazines and mark stuff you like. Then we'll help you figure out a theme. So what are you thinking for a date?"

  "We haven't discussed dates yet, but I'm pretty sure we're going to have a very long, lengthy engagement. Like maybe a couple years. We really don't need to start planning yet."

  She gives me a little sigh. I see my opportunity to get away, so I grab the magazines and go sit in the family room. She's still staring at me, so I pretend to look interested and flip through a few pages. But really, I'm looking at Phillip, who's sitting in his favorite chair finishing his second piece of pie. He looks so adorable that I almost wish I had two of him.

  Which reminds me.

  I grab my phone and look up the word trigamy. And I'm right!! There is a word that means married to three people.

  I glance over to Phillip and say, "It's trigamous."

  "Cool," he says, not really listening because he's very into the game and his pie. He practically licks the plate off then turns to me with a grin. "So you were wrong?"

  "I was closer to right than you were. That's all I care about." I give him a sassy little smile.

  He grabs me off the couch, pulls me onto his lap, and starts kissing me.

  Why is it kinda funny that this boy, who managed to keep his hands off me for years, cannot seem to control those hands anymore? I'm a little embarrassed by this. We're in the middle of his family room, and everyone can see us!! I cut the kiss short, but he won't let me get off his lap, so I get cozy, watch the game, and forget all about wedding planning.

  My cell buzzes on the side table. Phillip grabs it, says, "Danny," and hands me it.

  "Hey, what's up?"

  "How bout tomorrow will be my first start as a freaking NFL quarterback? Can you believe it?"

  One of the first things Danny told me, when he moved next door in fifth grade, was that he was a great quarterback. I remember telling him he was a bragger. He told me that he wasn't bragging, he was just confident in his skills. Turns out he was right about that, since he went on to be a state champion in high school, got recruited to play for Nebraska, won the national championship his senior year, came in second in the Heisman race, and won every quarterback award there was. He went on to be the second pick in the NFL draft. Last week, the starting quarterback got a concussion, so Danny finished the game. With his blonde hair, dreamy blue eyes, killer body, and good old boy attitude, he's also quickly becoming the poster boy for hot quarterbacks everywhere. His Chiefs jersey, with Diamond across the back, became their hottest selling jersey before he ever stepped foot on their field. He's making his first professional start tomorrow in a Monday Night Football game.

  "Yeah, I can believe it. I've always believed in you, and I'm so excited I get to be there!!!"

  "Jay, you have always believed in me. I should probably thank you for that."

  "Yeah, you should!"

  "Remember my freshman year in college?"

  I laugh. "I do. You thought it sucked."

  "Well, it did! I was the big man in high school. State Champion Winner. MVP. First Team, All-State. Five-Star Recruit. Then I go to college and NOTHING. I got freaking redshirted. I guess I just figured it would stay easy, be like high school."

  "Danny, you know as well as I do that it didn't come easy in high school. Yeah, you were better than most kids, so it looked easy, but those of us who know you knew how much time you devoted to working out, how many freaking passes Phillip and I caught for you, all the times you stayed after practice, the camps, all of it. You've always worked for it. Are you nervous? Are you comparing this to your freshman year?"

  "I might be a little nervous. I've moved up a level. What if I can't compete?"

  "You already competed on that level when you finished the game last week. You did awesome. You'll do awesome."

  "You know, I still visualize us playing in the empty lot between our houses before every game, and that pic of you two is hanging in my locker."

  "That's so cool."

  "My priorities are different now. I have an amazing wife, and pretty soon, we'll have a baby. But when I'm out there in a game, I play because it's fun. Because I love it."

  "I know, Danny."

  "The guys have been giving me all kinds of shit about the picture though. They want to meet this flag bikini girl. They've also been making up funny stories about you two. Like Phillip's my gay lover. You're my mistress. You're the one that got away. You're a Vegas hooker. Some think I don't even know you. Like I found the pic of you both going up for a pass on the internet or something. One of these days, I might tell them the truth, but for now, their wild guesses are kinda fun."

  "So.......Dannyyyyy Diammmonnndddd!!! Are you ready for some football, a Monday night partyyyyy???" I exaggeratedly sing the Monday Night Football anthem.

  "We'll see," he tells me. "We'll see."

  We're driving to Kansas City for the game and listening to sports radio. There's a lot of speculation that Mark Conway's football career is over, due to concussions, and that he's going to retire soon.

  If it's true, I'll be happy for Danny, but I feel bad too. I wouldn't want Danny to go out that way, having a concussion end his career. I want him to go out in a blaze of glory. He needs confetti raining down on him, fans cheering him, raising the Super Bowl trophy over his head for the third time when he announces his retirement.

  Danny calls me. He must really be nervous. "Hey, what's up?"

  "Do you remember that day after prom, how we talked in the hammock?" he asks.

  "Of course, that was the day you told me if we dated it would ruin our friendship."

  "Do you remember what you told me?"

  "Not really." I don't remember exactly what all I said that day.

  "You told me that I have greatness in me. That I was doing what I always wanted and what I was meant to do."

  "Oh yeah, the football talk. I remember that. I thought you were talking about what you said about us. You know, when you broke my heart."

  Danny laughs. "We both know I did not break your heart."

  "I still say you did. Ahhh, the one that got away." I giggle and wink at Phillip. He rolls his eyes at me.

  "Jay. Back to football."

  "Oh, sorry."

  "Do you remember after we lost the Texas game? I had those two interceptions, and the press, who the week before thought I was the second coming of Christ himself, threw me under the bus and decided I was overrated?"

  "Yeah, I remember. It sucked."

  "You told me that it didn't look like I was having fun out there. That when I stopped having fun, the whole team did too. I remember yelling at you, NO SHIT! Because how could I have had fun when I was either getting sacked or running for my life? But when I watched the game film, I realized you were right. When I started falling apart, the team came with me. You told me I was like the captain of a sinking ship. That if I let the water get to me, it would get to my crew too. That I needed to be the leader. Tell them it didn't matter, that the water was good for the boat, and we were gonna make it to land. You told me I had to lead my offense, be the calm in the storm. That if I wasn't confident, they wouldn't be either."

  "Wow! I was really supportive, and apparently, I'm quite brilliant at motivational sports analogies
. I should totally be on ESPN."

  Phillip chuckles in the seat next to me.

  Danny laughs too. "Don't get too puffed up. You also used to say, Fuck it. It's just a game. Tell Phillip he gets points for making me go in the backyard and toss around the football."

  "I'll tell him, but only if I get bonus points for taking you to the bar."

  "I'm not sure that was the smartest thing."

  "So why are you calling? You need a little pre-game pep talk?"

  "Maybe."

  "Hhmmmm, okay. I still believe what I said back then. You were born for this, and you're exactly where you belong. You can perform under pressure like no one else can."

  Phillip bursts out laughing, but that's because his mind's in the gutter.

  Danny says, "I like it so far," but then he bursts out laughing too and is like, "although that last part sounded a bit sexual. Has Lori been telling you how amazing I am in bed?"

  "Uh, no," I say, but then I laugh again. "Well, maybe I've heard a little, but you know what I mean. I'm talking defensive pressure, which I don't think you'll have much of tonight because you have an offensive line most quarterbacks would give their left nut for."

  "True."

  "So Daniel-son," I tease.

  "Oh boy, movie references. You aren't gonna start telling me wax on, wax off, are you?"

  "No, I have a better one. Remember the old movie, Iron Eagle? Where that kid flies a fighter plane to go rescue his dad?"

  "Yeahhh."

  "Your offensive line is like his plane. They're going to protect you. You're the iron eagle that can't be brought down, can't be stopped. You'll hold your ground. You'll scramble. You will not take a sack."

  "That's pretty good. I like it."

  "Good, cuz after you win tonight, and the reporters are all like, Oh, Dannnnyyyy, you're so ahh--maaazzinggg, I expect you to say, I owe it all to Jay."

  Danny chuckles. "That's why I love you. See ya after the game."

  We're at the stadium. I was so excited that I packed a ton of tailgating food and lots to drink. The Diamonds came too, but didn't bring the RV, and they're kicking themselves because Lori has to pee a lot. Mrs. Diamond says pregnant women always have to pee. She was gushing on about how Lori's glowing. And she is. Lori is beautiful, but her strawberry blonde hair looks thicker, her cheeks look slightly flushed, and although she's still her normal skinny self, she looks just a little fuller. Sexier. She looks amazing.