That Wedding Read online

  I need to be the neck.

  I need Phillip to look at the house and make the decision to buy it.

  I can't be the one to suggest it.

  I need to find out how much they want for the house. I need to get Mr. Diamond to agree to let me spend it. Mr. D will be the one to tell Phillip it's what my parents would've wanted.

  No, wait! I have an even better idea!

  We'll make the money a GIFT from my parents.

  Then it will be OUR money.

  We'll go look at the house, and Phillip will say, Now we can afford it. We'll take it.

  Or something like that.

  Phillip will think it's all his idea while I will act appropriately shocked and thrilled. Phillip will be my hero, and we'll live happily ever after.

  Gosh, I hope this works.

  Mr. Diamond called Phillip earlier today and asked if we could meet with him after work.

  We sit in the big wingback chairs in his study, and Mr. D says to Phillip, "So you know that my job is to protect JJ's financial interests. And as much as I know you two will be together forever, I have to think realistically about that. Every time I make a decision about JJ's finances, I always ask myself what would Paul have done? What would her dad have wanted, and how would Ronnie have felt about it? When I'm not sure what to do, I've consulted with your dad, Phillip, since he and JJ's dad were so close. I want to talk to you about JJ's finances tonight. I want you to understand everything. First off, you know they would've wanted her to have a special wedding and that Jadyn has that budget?"

  "Yes, sir," Phillip answers.

  "Second of all, I know her parents would have wanted to give you a special wedding gift, so in this envelope is a check made out to both of you."

  Phillip grimaces.

  Mr. D hands Phillip the envelope. "Phillip, you're going to be getting lots of wedding gifts in the coming month. Each gift is your friends and family's way of helping you get started in your new life together. You're planning on accepting these gifts graciously, am I right?"

  Phillip thinks about it. "Yeah, I guess."

  "That's what this is," Mr. D says. "A gift. Phillip, I know what you're thinking. You're a man. You're starting a new family with JJ, and you want to love and support her. When Mary and I got married, her parents wanted to give us money for a down payment on our house. I fought her tooth and nail because I didn't want to feel like I owed them anything. I wanted to make it on my own. In some ways, it felt like a slam to me, like they were saying they didn't believe I could support and provide for their daughter. But her father sat down with me and told me that it was a no-strings-attached gift and to please accept it as such. So Phillip, please accept this gift from her parents. It's what they would have wanted. Hopefully, you can use it to find a home that's perfect for you."

  He asks Phillip to open the envelope. Phillip's eyes get big when he does. I know the exact amount of the check, but when he shows me, I act surprised.

  Phillip says, "Wow."

  Mr. Diamond keeps going. "But this is your money as a couple, and it's completely up to you how to spend it. You might do what I think her parents would have wanted and use it to buy your first home. Or, you might decide you want to blow it all on a trip around the world. Maybe you'll decide to reinvest it, to start your own business, or hell, buy matching Ferraris. My point is, Phillip, this is your money together, and you should decide together how to use it."

  Phillip is listening very closely to Mr. D, and I have to give it to him. He nailed it.

  And in case Phillip hasn't had enough of a mind fuck yet, Mr. D drops this on his plate.

  "Thirdly, like I said, it's my job to protect JJ's finances, so I'm going to ask you to sign a prenuptial agreement that will protect the rest of her trust in case either one of you decides to end your marriage."

  In other words, in case Phillip decides to dump me or trade me in for a younger model someday.

  Phillip has no problem with this. He reads over the document and signs away.

  I'm hoping now that he doesn't have access to my money, he will feel okay about using the gift money on our house.

  I'm so bad. I haven't even seen the place yet, and I'm already calling it our house.

  Okay. Seeds have been planted.

  Now, I'm just gonna stand back and watch it grow, or germinate, or take root, or whatever newbie seeds do.

  As we're driving home, Phillip says, "So what do you think we should do with this gift?"

  I say a little bit pathetically, "Well, I guess just put it in the bank until we can decide what we wanna do with it. I mean, I know you won't wanna spend it on a house, so I guess we'll just reinvest it."

  I hate to admit it, but I think I might be coming down with a cold. And even though I'm not feeling great, I still helped Phillip's mom clean up after dinner. I'm ready to sit on the couch and watch football, but when I walk in the room, the guys all hold their empty beer bottles up at me.

  A not-so-subtle hint to bring them more.

  I purposely sniffle loudly, so Phillip will feel sorry for me, but he doesn't seem to notice. When I walk back into the kitchen, there's an intense conversation going on between Ash and her mom. I really don't wanna get involved. I just wanna go sit down, but I get dragged into the conversation when Mrs. Mac says, "So, JJ, when are you and Phillip going to have children?"

  And maybe it's the fact that I don't feel good.

  Or maybe it's the fact that I'm not married yet.

  Or maybe it's the fact that Phillip and I haven't even discussed it.

  Or maybe it's the fact that the idea of me being pregnant is just plain laughable.

  I can't help even help it.

  I laugh out loud.

  Sorry, but I do. Ha!

  I even let out a little snort.

  She doesn't look very pleased. She says, "I'm serious."

  I rub my hand across my temple. Think, Jadyn. Say something noncommittal, but something that will appease her. Or better yet, make her forget about me and babies.

  "Um. Gosh. I'd say we'll figure that out after the wedding." She gets a sad look on her face which makes me feel bad, so I add, "But it'll probably be fairly soon."

  She smiles at me. It's a touching, heartfelt smile that makes me feel worse.

  I'm probably going to hell for lying to my future mother-in-law about her dream grandbabies.

  But technically, it's not exactly a lie. I just think her idea of fairly soon and mine are quite a few years apart.

  I tilt my head at her. "Isn't that a question more appropriate for your already married daughter?"

  Let's put some pressure on Ashley for a change. Put her in the hot seat.

  Mrs. Mac waves her hand. "I don't think they're even trying. Maybe not even having sex."

  "Mom!! We'll have children when we're ready!! And we have sex. I mean, some sex," Ash says.

  She looks kinda sad. Like maybe some is code word for not so much.

  "So when will you be ready?" I ask.

  "When I decide if I'm going to keep him."

  "What?!" I exclaim.

  "Oh, I'm just teasing," Ash says.

  But the way she's looking at Cooper, who's now sprawled across the couch shoving chips in his mouth, I wonder if maybe she's not.

  I wonder if she's glad she got married. I mean, Lori and Danny are happy, but Katie and Eric are having a rough time. And now I wonder if maybe Ashley is having a hard time too. Although, Katie says the best thing about fighting is the makeup sex. She also says sometimes she picks a fight just so they can make up. Sounds a little twisted to me, but it's not my marriage, so I just laugh along.

  I look at Cooper. I like Coop. He's a cool, relaxed guy. And Ashley can be pretty overbearing. You'd have to be pretty chill to deal with her. But I hardly ever see them all gooey anymore, like they were when they were dating. Maybe Mrs. Mac is right, and they really aren't doing it.

  That's a scary thought.

  What if Phillip gets tired of me?
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  What if someday he doesn't want me anymore?

  Phillip's mom keeps discussing babies, and she's going on and on about how lucky the Diamonds are that Danny and Lori are expecting.

  I think she's got Grandma envy.

  "Just chill, Mom," Ashley says in a snotty voice.

  Which is not something you should say to your mom because I can tell Mrs. Mac is about to tell her a thing or two about chilling.

  I quickly hold up the beers I just got out of the frig and offer a wry smile, so they'll understand it's imperative that I get back to the family room and deliver them to the menfolk while they're still cold.

  I go in the family room and hand them to the guys.

  I sniffle again as Phillip pulls me onto his lap. "You're sniffling. You need to see the doctor."

  "It's just a cold. I'm fine."

  He whispers in my ear. "Did I mention that I'm gonna be the doctor?"

  My face instantly feels flush. I whisper back. "In that case, I may need a very thorough examination. We better get home."

  Couple's counseling again tonight. I tried to get out of it earlier. I sniffled and told Phillip I might be too sick to go. He said the same thing my parents used to when I wanted to stay home from school on a Friday. If you're too sick to go, that means you're too sick to go out tonight.

  I really wanted go out, so here I am.

  As we're walking down the hall to Pastor's office, I tell Phillip, "I talked to Amy earlier. Can you believe in exactly a month from today, we'll be at our wedding rehearsal?"

  Phillip snakes his arms around my waist, pushes me gently against the wall outside Pastor's office, and kisses me. "It can't come soon enough."

  I put my hands inside his coat, squeeze his sides, and press my body fully against his.

  He can make me want him with just one kiss.

  His hands slide under the back of my shirt. I swear, his hands feel like fire on my skin.

  I'm about to say, You're needed in the bathroom, doctor. Stat!

  "Ahem!"

  I tear my lips away from Phillip and see Pastor John standing inside his office door. I didn't hear the door open. I think my sense of touch is so overwhelmed when Phillip kisses me that the rest of my senses don't function properly.

  "S'up," I say to him with a nod.

  Oh. My. Gosh.

  I'm so incredibly lame.

  Who says s'up to a pastor? I think the blood that normally flows to my brain is now congregating in other areas of my body. My dad once told me that boys think with their dicks. He said it's because the blood flows there and away from their brain. I was thoroughly mortified by that comment, but now I'm thinking it doesn't just happen to boys.

  My insides are pounding with desire. And now that Pastor has seen us, I can't pull Phillip into the bathroom for a pre-counseling quickie, like I was considering.

  Dammit!

  Phillip and I sit in the stupid checkerboard chairs. Phillip looks at me with those eyes. I remember when Danny and Lori used to look at each other with those eyes. Like they had a secret no one knew but them. I remember wondering if I could ever look at Phillip that way. I can't see my eyes, but his definitely have that look. I have a feeling we'll be skipping Taco Tuesday tonight.

  Pastor taps a pen on his desk loudly. I was gazing into Phillip's eyes and not really paying attention.

  Pastor says, "So tonight, we're going to talk about sex."

  Oh, great. Like my mind wasn't already consumed with thoughts of sex. I've been mentally calculating how many more minutes it'll be before I can attack Phillip. How many more minutes until I can strip him naked. How many more minutes until I can make him......

  Pastor's grating voice interrupts what was just about to be a very hot daydream. "I'm sure it's hard to believe at this stage in your relationship, but many couples fight about sex."

  Before I can stop it from coming out of my mouth, I stupidly say, "They do?"

  I don't wanna talk about this.

  I just wanna go home now and do it.

  Phillip slips off his coat. He has on a cream long-sleeved thermal Abercrombie shirt that seems to be losing the fight to contain his muscles.

  I imagine ripping the shirt off him, letting those muscles be free to roam wildly across my body.

  Pastor drones on. "Yes, JJ, they do. Many couples go through a honeymoon stage. When it seems like sex is all that matters. There's a lot of desire, but eventually things simmer down."

  I seriously can't imagine things simmering down with Phillip. But then I remember what his sister said the other day. They've only been married a few years, and I think they've simmered down.

  "When does that usually happen? I think Phillip's sister might be going through that right now."

  Phillip groans. "I don't wanna hear about my sister's sex life."

  It's better than talking about our sex life, I would think.

  Pastor says, "It varies with each couple. What matters is that you're able to discuss sex."

  "Wouldn't it be better to just do it?" I ask. I mean, wouldn't it?

  "Well of course, but as your marriage grows, you will have additional stresses. Time, money, self-esteem, children, and your relationship will all have an affect on your sex life."

  "But if you love someone, wouldn't you always want them?" I ask because this has been bugging me. I seriously would die if Phillip ever turned me down.

  I'd probably divorce him.

  I mean if they don't want you, why bother staying married?

  "It's not that simple, JJ. Imagine if you can, Phillip comes home one night and is tired from work. You've been home with the kids all day and are exhausted too. He still has to go out and mow the grass, and you still have to bathe the kids and put them to bed. By the time you eat dinner, do your chores, and get the kids to sleep, do you think you will want sex? Or will you just want to go to sleep?"

  Aside from the fact that his example was riddled with stereotypical and chauvinistic things, I get what he's saying. I look at Phillip because I assume he's going to answer the question, but he shrugs his shoulders at me. He doesn't seem to know the answer.

  How can he not know the answer!!?? The answer is quite obvious! "We'd have sex, and then we'd sleep."

  Duh!

  Pastor nods his head at me. And his nod is not agreeing with me.

  I forget what else he says. He drones on about who will initiate it, keeping the spark, talking, talking, talking. I swear, his position on sex is that talk equals foreplay.

  Ha!

  Get it? His position on sex? I crack myself up.

  I'd have to disagree on that. The last thing I wanna do is talk. I look at Phillip's lips, picture them kissing me, not talking. I can almost feel them on my neck. My eyes glaze over thinking about all the naughty things I'm gonna do to him tonight.

  Maybe I'll make him go to Taco Tuesday. I'll flirt with him. Bat my eyelashes at him. Run my hand up his thigh under the table.

  Or maybe I'll sit across from him. Slip my shoe off. Rub my foot between his legs. Drive him crazy.

  He'll be begging to go home.

  But we won't make it home.

  We'll barely make it to the car because he wants me so badly. He throws me across the back seat, undoes his pants, and....

  "So I guess that's it for today," Pastor says loudly with a clap of his hands.

  The clap wakes me up. I still feel like I'm in the backseat with Phillip. It's slightly disorienting.

  We get in the car, and Phillip says, "So, Taco Tuesday. Yay or nay?"

  "Definitely, yay," I reply.

  Nothing wrong with trying to make a few of my dreams come true.

  We're driving to Kansas City to pick out office furniture. This is the lie Phillip told me.

  Yes, Phillip told me a complete lie.

  I know this because Danny told me that he talked Phillip into just looking at the house today.

  So I'm not at all sure what that means!

  And it's killing me!

/>   I wanna talk about it!

  I want him to tell me what he thinks. If he's considering it.

  I'm going crazyyyyyy with wondering.

  And he's sitting there driving, all calm and cool, and bobbing his head to Aerosmith.

  I wanna pin his head to the back of the seat and threaten him with torture if he doesn't tell me what he's thinking. Why would he want to look at a house he thinks he can't afford?

  No, be calm. Be cool.

  Maintain the I know you don't want to buy it routine.

  You planted the seeds, now let them grow.

  And I'm trying to, but hey, plants need a little water, right?

  Maybe it's not growing because I need to water it.

  So I say, "I'm surprised the commercial office furniture place is open on a Saturday."

  Phillip grins. "I lied. We're not really doing that. Danny told you about the house next door that's going on the market, right?"

  "Yeah."

  "We're gonna take a look at it today. See if it's really as nice as Danny has been going on about."

  "But why would we do that?"

  Phillip turns his head and gives me a confused look. "I wanted to surprise you with this. I thought you'd be really excited."

  I sigh, a defeated, slightly pretend sigh. "It's hard to get excited about seeing something you can't have. Lori says it's gorgeous. All it's gonna do is depress me more when we go look at houses in our price range. It's like dangling Jimmy Choos in front of me then making me buy my shoes at Target."

  Phillip squints his eyes at me. This is the part where he should say, Oh Princess, but now we can afford that house, and it would be so cool to live by Danny and Lori, and it would be amazing, and we'll happily ever after.

  Or something like that.

  Instead, he smiles and says, "Well, if nothing else, maybe we can get some ideas from it. Kinda like when my mom tours those dream homes."

  "Yeah, I suppose," I say pathetically again. I'm really trying hard not to pout.

  But all of a sudden, I totally am.

  And I'm not faking it.

  For real.

  Because getting ideas was not the seeds that I planted.

  We look at the house. Danny has been whispering in Phillip's ear about what he and Lori spent on their house, what the remodel is costing, and how this is a much better deal. Lori mentions how great it would be not to have the mess of a remodel.

  And well, I gush to myself since I can't gush to anyone.