That Wedding Read online

  We get outside of room 416. Lori's room.

  I'm scared. I don't know what to do. Should we just stand out here?

  Phillip knocks gently on the door.

  Danny opens it. There's a wide grin on his face, and he immediately pulls Phillip into a hug.

  "Look at this, Mac!" he says as he excitedly shoves an ultrasound photo in front of Phillip's face.

  When I see Lori alive and laying in the hospital bed, I let out a cry of relief. She looks scared, but there's a smile on her face. I rush to her side. "Are you okay? Is the baby okay? What happened?"

  "I'm fine. The baby's fine. I was bleeding this morning, and it was enough that the doctor sent us straight here. I was sure I was having a miscarriage. I think I panicked everyone for nothing. Everything is okay now, and the bleeding has stopped."

  I let out a huge cleansing breath of air, bend down, and hug her tightly. "I was so worried."

  She says, "Stop crying. You're making me cry." She wipes her tears then shakes her head at me. "I really didn't think you'd come. Here. To the hospital. I thought you'd make up some excuse."

  "I don't have the best of luck with hospitals, Lori, so I try to avoid them."

  "Babies are born in hospitals. They're good things."

  "That's true, I guess. I was really worried." I give her another big hug. "I love you."

  Danny interrupts my hug by shoving the ultrasound photo in front of my face.

  I see a very teeny baby. I'm amazed at how small it is but how much it looks like a baby. Like I guess I thought it would still sorta look like a squid or something. I look closer because I'm dying to know if it's a boy or a girl.

  "Danny, they covered up its boy or girl parts!"

  "I know! We don't wanna find out. The little monkey is gonna be loved either way, and we're gonna have lots more kids."

  "Lots more kids?" Lori says. "Um, let's see if I can do one right. Then we can talk about more."

  Danny snatches the pic away from me and shoves it back in Phillip's face. "So look at this, Mac. What's it look like the baby's doing?"

  Phillip studies the photo closely. "Sleeping?"

  "No, look at this. Look at its arm. Doesn't it look like he's throwing a pass?"

  Phillip grins. "Yeah, sorta. Must be a boy then, huh?"

  "Hey, girls can throw passes!" I say.

  "Whatever," Danny says. "My guess is that it's a boy."

  "That's my guess too," Lori says.

  I look at the ultrasound closer. It looks to me like the baby is either sleeping with its arm up in the air or throwing its arm up in a cheer, but I decide not to mention that. "So everything's okay then? Like why were you bleeding? I thought all bleeding was bad."

  "Not always," Lori says. Then she glances at Danny, who has a very satisfied look on his face.

  "What?" I say.

  Lori rolls her eyes and hands me a book on things to expect when you're pregnant. I read the passage that she's highlighted.

  During pregnancy, it's not unusual to bleed after sex. Your cervix is tender and sensitive. If this happens to you, you shouldn't have intercourse again until you've seen your doctor. Having normal intercourse won't cause you to have a miscarriage.

  I read it once and then read it again. "I don't get it. What's that got to do with, ohhhhhh, so you had sex, and IT caused the bleeding?"

  Lori laughs self consciously and nods her head.

  Danny puffs his chest out and flexes a big bicep at us. "What it doesn't mention in that book is that I'm huge. Like extremely well endowed."

  I laugh and look back down at the book. "You're right. It doesn't mention that. Oh, wait. It does. It's scribbled here in the margin. A little disclaimer. Danny Diamond is so huge this does not apply. Danny Diamond should proceed with caution."

  Phillip raises his eyebrows at me. "So what does it say about me?"

  "Huh?"

  "Well, I am bigger than Danny."

  "What? How would you even know that, Phillip?"

  He grins at me. "Well aside from years of locker rooms, we measured."

  "You measured? As in you got naked together, got them hard, and compared? How did I miss out on all the good stuff?"

  Danny chimes in. "Jay, we're not gay. We measured separately and told each other our numbers, but I think Phillip's fibbing."

  "Phillip never lies."

  "Whatever. So the bleeding happened because I'm amazing, and pregnant women are super horny."

  Phillip and I look at each other with wide eyes.

  Danny shrugs his broad shoulders and grins. "It's not my fault she kept saying harder."

  Lori blushes down to her toes. "Danny!"

  Danny just laughs. He's quite proud of himself. "We're among friends here."

  Lori says, "Well, you and your friend can go get me some fried chicken. I'm starving. I want extra crispy, mashed potatoes, and biscuits. And make sure you get those honey packets."

  "I swear, I'm gonna start a pregnancy delivery service. You know how many times I've had to run out and get whatever she's hungry for?"

  The boys leave to go get chicken. I'm still sitting here with an amused smile on my face.

  "Wipe that smirk off your face," she tells me.

  "So pregnancy makes you horny?"

  She looks at the door and makes sure the boys are gone. "Ohmigawd, Jade, yes. Here, read this."

  I read a passage about increased blood flow to certain lady parts and think that's something I really did not need to know.

  Pregnancy would freak me the hell out. I'm just saying.

  When I set the book back down, she continues. "Seriously, sex with Danny has always been amazing. But yeah, this morning was like ecstasy." Then she changes the subject. "So Danny told me something about you seeing Richie Rich at the bar. Did he really ask you to marry him?"

  "Lori, you need to be thinking about you and the baby and taking it easy, relaxing."

  "All I've been doing is thinking about the baby. I wanna talk about your life. Tell me a story. Some gossip. Something. Distract me."

  I lay on the bed next to her. "He did. I don't think he was serious though. Did Danny tell you the night of formal he was going to ask me to wear his fraternity pin?"

  "Oh, Jade. You would've gotten to pass your candle!"

  "I know. I'm kinda bummed by that. He also said something that's been bugging me. Do you think I'm settling by marrying Phillip?"

  "Are you nuts? Phillip is fine. He's hot, he's sweet, and he adores you. Why would you ever say that?"

  "Jason said it. I just, I don't know. Couple's counseling is not going well, Lori. I'm pretty sure we're failing."

  "You're not failing. No one fails."

  I grab her hand and try to change the subject by saying, "I hope not. I'm so happy the baby is okay."

  "Me too. So, I know you. You have to have some gossip or some funny story. You always do."

  "I have some kind of baddish news."

  "Do I want to hear baddish news right now?"

  "It's more baddish gossip. You know how Katie and Eric haven't like been doing that great, like in their marriage, right?"

  "Yeah, I did hear that."

  "Well did you hear that she's been talking to and going to lunch with Neil?"

  "I didn't hear that! What's that all about?"

  "I don't know. I don't think they know for sure, but it sounds like she's considering getting a divorce and dating Neil."

  "Scandalous," she giggles. "Seriously though, it's really sad. It would suck to go through a divorce."

  "You're lucky. You and Danny have a good relationship."

  "He cried today, about the baby. I've never seen Danny cry. And I've been giving him a hard time. I just feel so, I can't even explain it, like I'm not even in control of my own body. Like I have this alien thing growing in me, changing my body, and kicking me. It's kinda freaky, but at the same time, it's so incredibly amazing. I've been sick and crabby and probably not very nice to him."

  "He's wo
rried about being a good dad, but he really loves you, and he really loves the baby."

  "Yeah, I know. I'm incredibly lucky. We decided that we really can't understand what each other is going though and to just focus on the baby."

  "Good. You know Danny's going to be an amazing father."

  "That's one of the reasons I wanted to marry him so bad. He's so much fun, so full of life and love. And speaking of that, when are you two gonna have kids?"

  "Not for a very long time."

  "You're going to be amazing parents too. And Danny's right, having our kids grow up together would be so cool. You know, you're more like my sister than my real sister."

  "Really? You have no idea what that means to me. You know, because it's just me." Tears start leaking out of my eyes again. What is wrong with me? Why can't I push the tears back anymore?

  Lori grabs my hand quick and puts my palm across her belly. "Feel that?"

  "Oh my God! The baby kicks hard! Lori, that's so freaking weird! Does it feel like that all the time?"

  "It is kicking a lot now. I was telling Nick about it, and he keeps teasing Danny. Telling him the baby is gonna be a kicker and not a quarterback. That's why he's all look the baby looks like it's throwing a pass. Wouldn't it have been hilarious if the baby would've looked like it was kicking?"

  "Nick's a loser. He was so funny in Vegas. He was giving me crap about being kinda drunk, but he was dancing with me."

  "He only dances when he's drunk!"

  Then I tell her about the spider from hell, Wayne's reaction and rescue, and Phillip strolling in for sex. And I maybe confide a little about how freaking amazing sex with Phillip is.

  "I remember the first time you introduced me to Phillip. I think it's funny that we didn't get to be good friends until junior year."

  "Well, that's cuz you never seemed like you wanted to have any fun."

  "And it seemed like all you wanted to do was have fun. Do you remember when I asked you to introduce me to Phillip? We all thought he was so cute, but I'd never met him before."

  "I don't remember that."

  "We were dressed as slutty secretaries, and the guys were all in suits. Phillip looked good."

  "Phillip always looks handsome in a suit."

  "You were like, Come on, I'll introduce you. He's my best friend and my roommate. I'll never forget it. He and Blake were literally surrounded by girls. You sauntered over, walked through the girls. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed you on the cheek. The girls all gave you the dirtiest looks." She laughs. "Then you told him his tie was all fucked up."

  "Oh, I do remember that. Phillip could never tie a tie. I always did it for him. And they were probably surrounding Blake. You know that's how he got his nickname, right? His Royal Hotness? Blakeness?"

  She laughs. "I didn't know that. That's funny. Blake is a cutie. So anyway, you undid Phillip's tie and retied it. Then you stood back and looked at him. I swear, I knew then you loved him."

  "You were always too smart for your own good."

  "You introduced us then totally checked him out. Like stood back, looked him up and down. You told him he looked too uptight, stole his tie, and put it on you. He grabbed the end of the tie and pulled you in close to him. I really thought he was going to kiss you. Instead, he whispered in your ear. I always wondered what he said."

  I laugh. "He told me I could tie him up later at home, and that my skirt was so short it was almost a crime."

  "He always flirt with you like that?"

  "I always kinda thought he was just playing around, but yeah, he did."

  "Then we got drunk together."

  "I didn't get drunk. You did though. I think I created a monster."

  "You did teach me how to party."

  "I think you always knew how to party. You were just afraid to let loose."

  "That's true. We had a lot of fun. You wanna know what surprised me the most about you?"

  "Sure."

  "You kinda had a reputation as a party girl. And you knew so many guys. I thought you were slutty. I was surprised once I got to know you how good you were. Like you made out with a lot of guys, I just assumed you did more."

  "I'm not a good girl, Lori."

  "Jade, you didn't have sex until college."

  I roll my eyes at her. "I knew lots of guys cuz of Phillip and Danny, and I just wanted to wait until I was in love. That didn't really work out so well."

  "Like I said, closet good girl. Well, until Bradley."

  "Yes, Bradley the bartender. He was supposed to be my first one night stand. But then it was so much fun, it turned into a bunch of one night stands."

  "What about Danny?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "In Vegas, they were talking about you and Danny making out. It sounded like it was often. Was it? I always thought prom night was the last time you kissed."

  "No, we kissed in college some. It wasn't a big deal."

  "You never told me that."

  "Because it didn't matter. Danny and I were friends. Sometimes we'd get drunk together and kiss. Usually after a loss. I think it was like comforting to him or something."

  "So was it just kissing?"

  "Pretty much."

  "Just tell me, please."

  "Why? It doesn't matter anymore. If I wanted Danny for myself, I would've never set the two of you up. When we kissed, he had yet to find love, and I'd found it but didn't know what to do with it. It didn't mean anything. It was just for fun. Like most things were with me and Danny. We just always had fun together."

  "Danny says you always got into trouble together. I think you did more than kiss."

  "Fine. We did more than kiss. There was even a time when he attacked me on the couch. It was like spur of the moment. I thought we were finally going to."

  "What stopped you?"

  "Phillip came home. It was pretty funny. Danny and I looked at each other, jumped up, and ran into our rooms. We never kissed after that."

  "When was that?"

  "Fall of my junior year. And I'm glad we didn't. Danny means a lot to me. I think sleeping with him would've been like crossing Sleep with Danny Diamond off my bucket list. Like every girl I knew wanted to sleep with him. My competitiveness sort of made me want to too."

  "I didn't want to sleep with him."

  "You were lying to yourself."

  She giggles.

  "Speaking of that," I say. "I think I might be lying to myself about Phillip."

  She looks concerned. "Why would you say that?"

  "I told you, we're failing couple's counseling."

  "I thought you didn't care about couple's counseling."

  "On the surface, I'm not taking it seriously, but I'm there. I'm listening, and I'm trying hard not to because I'm hearing stuff I don't wanna hear. What I'm hearing is that our marriage is going to be a failure."

  "Oh, Jade, don't be silly."

  I was gonna argue with her, but I remember something else I've been wanting to tell her. "Oh, I have something else to tell you! I almost forgot! I had another weird dream the other night."

  "Tell me about it." Her face brightens. She loves reveling in my misery, I think.

  "I'm still worried that with all these dreams that someone is trying to tell me something, or maybe I'm trying to tell myself, I'm not sure."

  "Stop being so dramatic, Jade, and tell me about it."

  "I'm not dramatic! That's like twice in the last few days someone has accused me of it. And I don't like it!!!"

  "Fine. You're not being dramatic. Tell me!!!"

  "Okay, so it's my wedding ceremony. It's gorgeous. There are candles lit on top of every pew, on every surface. I walk down the aisle in a beautiful Balenciaga gown. I have a gorgeous long flowing veil."

  Lori interrupts me. "How do you know who Balenciaga is? Do they make wedding dresses?"

  "I'm not sure, Sex in the City, maybe?"

  "I know, I was telling you about that Balenciaga motorcycle bag that Mark Conway's wife got
like the only one in Kansas City and how it cost like two thousand dollars."

  She likes to think our conversations are so poignant that they're affecting my dreams.

  "What's that got to do with the dress?"

  "Nothing really, go on."

  "So I go up to the altar. Phillip and I say our vows, and when the minister says, You may kiss the bride, Phillip pulls the veil over my head. That's when I FREAK! I can't do it! I can't go through with it! So I run down the aisle with my veil flying behind me. Of course, with all the candles, it catches fire, but I don't know that it's blazing behind me until people start screaming in horror."

  "Oh, how awful," she says, but then she laughs.

  "You're laughing at my dream?"

  "Just a little, go on. You are entertaining, I will admit."

  "So it's awful. I'm on fire, well, my veil is anyway. But luckily, when I get toward the back of the church, I see the back rows are filled with firemen."

  "Firemen? What are firemen doing at your wedding?"

  "I'm not sure. Did I tell you about Mrs. Mac's facebook status about the hot fireman working on the fire hydrant on their street? And how her, Mrs. D, and two other neighbors were pretending to sit outside and talk, just so they could drool over him?"

  "No, you didn't! They both friend requested me, but I ignored them."

  "You did?! Ohmigawd, you should totally add them. They're hilarious and sharing wayyy too much information. I laugh every day. It's cheap entertainment. So anyway, I left work, went out to join them, and it turns out the hot fireman was Ryan, this guy I dated freshman year. He was a senior, and the first boy I ever French kissed. Well, technically, I guess that was Danny, but that was more of a tutorial thing."

  "Danny taught you how to French kiss?! Why have I never heard about this before?"

  "It was dumb. I was super nervous about kissing Ryan because this other guy like shoved his tongue down my throat once, and it was awful. I didn't wanna be awful, so I begged Danny to tell me how to do it right. It's just one of those things you kinda have to do, so he took pity on me and showed me. Anyway, so I go over there, get out of my car, and he calls out my name. I told him about the ladies watching and asked him to pretend to get hot and take off his shirt. So he did, even though it was like fifty degrees out."

  "Oh, that's hilarious."

  "What's even better is when he was shirtless, they took pictures with him. They posted the pics on their facebook!"

  "No way! Show me your phone."

  I pull up the photos and show her. She laughs a full belly hard laugh. It's good to see her happy. I was so worried earlier.